Merry Christmas, Here's to Many More
by twilightscallingme
Summary: A small look at what Edward's and Bella's Christmases were like during New Moon. Inspired by Relient K's song Merry Christmas, Here's to Many More. Contains some lyrics. one shot.


Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all of the characters and Relient K owns the song "Merry Christmas, Here's to Many More."

_I made it through the year and I did not even collapse  
Gotta thank God for that  
I'm torn between what keeps me whole and what tears me in half  
I'll fall apart or stay intact_

Since I had been created, I had spent very few Christmases away from my family. I had never the need to spend time away from them. Not at this time of year.

Even though we all were not ageing and unchanging, we still celebrated Christmas. It was different from our birthdays because it was a holiday that many people observed. I'm not quite sure why we celebrated it other than because it was popular; Carlisle was the only one who believe that we still had souls. I'm sure for him part of it was because that's what he had done in his human life..., but for the rest of us? I'm not quite sure. For Carlisle it held more meaning than just a day to treat his family to presents, which we could have easily bought ourselves.

Regardless, Christmas was a holiday that the Cullen Family had observed for many years.

This year, however, was different.

It was the first year since Alice and Jasper had come to be with us that I would not be returning home for the holidays. I couldn't. Not after leaving Bella. Not after I broke her heart in so many ways.

No, not I. I was in hiding. South America. Not eating – I didn't deserve that – not tracking actively... nothing. Not for the Christmas Holidays, anyway.

_It always hurt to be all by myself this time of year  
A cold and lonely Christmas Eve  
And living out my days alone, well, that had been my deepest fear  
But you promised you won't leave_

The fire crackled and popped, catching my attention. I watched with blank eyes as the sparks rose up the chimney. Idly, I wondered if my stocking that hung on the mantle by the fireplace would catch on fire tonight; it seemed plausible.

"Bella?" Charlie called my name, directing my attention towards the tree that he had set up. Normally I would have loved to have helped him with that, but this year... Normally I would have loved to have helped him with that. But this year, he went out and bought the tree – a nice, sturdy tree that was a size too big, perhaps – and set it up and had it decorated before I even noticed it.

Noticing my eyes glancing in his general direction, Charlie sighed. He knew that was my way of letting him know that he had my attention. I wouldn't answer, not unless he asked something direct. I bit down on my lower lip, wondering if I should say something or not.

"Care to open presents?"

I shrugged, sliding off of the couch and over towards the tree. What could it hurt, to pretend for one night?

After all the presents were opened and admired, I realized the price of my rhetoric question: Oh, how it hurt.

_You are my hope  
Deck the halls with mistletoe  
May all your heavy burdens go  
Up the chimney in a cloud of smoke  
The fire's burning bright  
Strike up the band and play the tune  
Cause Christmas will be here and soon  
You'll hear our song in every room  
This Merry Christmas night_

"Edward!" The voice on the other end was high pitched and excited.

"Alice," I replied. My voice was dead, like me, like my heart.

"Oh, Edward. You just need to come home. We all miss you. We all want you home, Edward." Alice's voice didn't seem to stop chirping. It had been a long time since I heard someone speak to me that fast, but I still caught every word. Naturally.

"No," I replied, stoic.

"But Edward–"

I heard voices squabble over the phone, and it changed hands. "Edward," breathed a soft, caring voice.

"Mom," I murmured. Of course _she_ would take the phone. She knew how much I hated to do something that she disapproved of. She knew that it was hard to resist doing as she wished. Esme was my mother in so many ways.

"Edward, please, come home. We miss you. It's not Christmas without you, Edward," she pleaded.

My heart – ha! As if there were any such thing left! – felt like it was breaking again. I knew that wasn't possible, but it felt like it. How do you say no to Esme? Instead, I just held my breath.

"Edward," she whispered after a second of silence. She realized that I wasn't going to respond.

"Esme."

"If you can't come home now, Edward, please, come home soon. We – I – miss you. We need you back. We're not a family without you; it's not Christmas without you. Please, just think about it."

"I will," I promised. I knew, though, that my promise meant nothing. "Merry Christmas," I added before I hung up and shut my phone off.

_Singing Merry Christmas, here's to many more._


End file.
